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I’m not feeling HIV today!

It seems I need to write something today that really captured how I am feeling. I am not feeling HIV today! It is funny how I came to this point since this morning I woke up wanting to shoot a film about 30
years in.  And as if on cue G-d, the Creator of heaven and earth was speaking to me through others by having a friend contact me saying that a filmmaker wanted to do a documentary about HIV.  Surely this was the signs that all my superstitious friends look for, when trying to decide what to do next.  Yet right now in this moment,

… I’m not feeling HIV today!

I know there are some who gotta know what I’m talking about. When you either wake up and to look at another pill and you think, “I’m not feeling this today.”  Those who just for a moment want to turn the clock back to the free love days of the 70’s and not have to have some in-depth conversation about using condoms and “negotiating” and “interpreting” what that talk means or sounds like— you don’t trust me, you dipping and dodging, you think I’m ‘dirty’, etc.

… I’m not feeling HIV today!

Surely there is someone out there that is tired of the political wrangling and ego that comes with the personalities in the field, the labels and distrust as the pot of money seems to be limited, the debates about strategy gets heated, and the work only gets greater.  Is there one who sees the wheels spinning and yet the view looks the same?

… I’m not feeling HIV today!

It has to be at least one, who like me said,

…. I’m not feeling HIV today!

Then went on to say but HIV is going to feel me as I put all that I am into ending this thing for my children and my children’s children and all that petty B.S. that had me twisted today IS NOT, WILL NOT stop me.

…  I’m not feeling HIV today!  So brothers and sisters in arms can you pick up my slack today but know tomorrow I am back on my grind and will help you carry the load.


4 Comments leave one →
  1. June 28, 2011 10:22 am

    I have had HIV for 29 years!!! I am NOT feeling HIV today, nor will I on ANY day!!!!

    • barely_coping permalink
      December 14, 2011 2:12 pm

      Russ, 29 years is a long time. How have you done it! Please do share with me. Your message is like music to my ears.

  2. Sharon permalink
    June 28, 2011 12:10 pm

    i was on art for 6 months and could not take it as i felt that i was not ready. How do i tell them at the oi clinic so i can get help. Have stopped for over a year now. Please help coz i really need advice

    • Tiffany permalink
      June 29, 2011 5:15 pm

      Sharon, I am not a doctor but I have been an advocate for many years. My advice may not be of any use but these are the things I would say to you. Examine all the reasons you are not ready to go on ART therapy, write it down and why you you feel that way. When you go to the clinic and are searching for the words pull out your reasons and share them with the staff. Please know that they may not agree with you and come armed with reasons why being on ART could benefit you and they may even give you ideas to work around some of the issues you may have identified. It is at that point that your conversation begins and together you and the support staff can find a solution that works for you. I could cite studies that talk about the benefits of treatment to you and your potential partners. But ultimately, it is your choice and finding physcians that can respect that and work with you in partnership regarding your treatment is key.

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