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Single, dating & HIV+

August 31, 2010

I know that some of you have had difficulties in this area.  All the people on this website are, or at least state that they are, HIV+. I am fortunate that I am not having to deal with this. Just letting you all know I have never personally used this service, but I do know someone that has used this website successfully and had found a partner.  But I am not sure if it is available in all areas of the world. I wish only the best for you all in all areas of your lives. I am grateful I have a wonderful relationship. If you are looking, I wish you all the best also.

http://personals.poz.com/ It can’t hurt to check it out. I figured we all found each other on this blog/website. Maybe you too can find someone.
Jae

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13 Comments leave one →
  1. veronica permalink
    September 1, 2010 7:37 am

    well i recently found out that i am positive and it the hardest thing that has ever happened to me,i have sleepless nights and my concentration at work has gone down. am sure no one ever wants to blame themselves but in this case i blame my self the most. i met a guy in February at the beginning of this year and i fell in love instantly. i had just gone for my test the previous week and i was negative. but with this new boyfriend things had never been so nice.he treated me so well he was damn handsome and HIV was the last thing i could ever suspect him of. anyway at first we were using protection but with time we would stopped and that is when all hell broke loose. he would get so drunk and beat me up cut me up with bottles and one day i decided to leave him and before i could he grabbed my hand and told me” MY DEAR YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT HAVE GIVEN YOU” at the moment i just dismissed it but after every1 started talking of how he had many gals in the past thats when i realized what he meant. and so i went for another test and since then my life changed and am not the happy person i used to be…..not any more

    • September 7, 2010 7:32 am

      I think that you know very well how men are, they need something from you they will do anything to get what they wanted. So don`t blame yourself the way you`re saying , what I can tell you is that find a counsel who can give the right advice, and also pray so that you forget the past and I know GOD will not leave you alone.Be happy and forgive him who it to you.

    • Ann permalink
      September 22, 2010 5:27 am

      oh dear..shame :(. My dream was to marry a man I loved and live happily ever after. But soon after I got married I was tested positive. I blamed myself for being so stupid because during my relationship with my then boyfriend we broke up and due to frustration about loosing me he slept with a number of women. When we reconciled, thou we should have gone for tests we just took things from where we left them and decided to get married. I felt my dreams were shattered cos I may not be able to see my grandchildren because of this disease.

      But i looked at other HIV+ persons in my community and I realized a new life has just begun, I realise everyone is going to die and I just have to live positively and take my medications and most of all pray to God for good health.
      HIV is just a sickness like all others: diabetic persons take tablets all the days of their lives and also have a reduction in their cd4 and so do people who suffer from cancer, high blood pressure etc.
      I’ve seen others like me lead a normal healthy lives with their healthy children.
      After my diagnosis, I became so close to God that I began to see his purpose for me, I asked God to heal me from HIV. Believe me I feel so healthier each new day and I believe in my heart that I am healed>> I don’t need to do a re-run of tests.. I still take my drugs regularly.

      Just ask Jesus to come into your life and take control, everything will be alright… Jesus asks us not to worry about the future because He ‘s the one who hold our tomorrow and he holds your hand. GOD BLESS YOU

    • aliceinwonderlnd permalink
      September 23, 2010 12:56 pm

      Veronica, you don’t have to feel like that. We all make mistakes and some get away with them and some don’t. I have been + for over 10 years, I trusted the wrong person too. I had a over 9yr long marriage and then found out his sexual preferences were other that were not in my best interest. Finding out about my HIV when I was pregnant and then stayed with him for over 9 yrs and then finding out he likes ts, felt like an iced cold bucket of water that woke me up from my 9 yrs of sleep. I have an 11 yr old daughter and now an 8 month old precious boy and a wonderful husband that helped me understand that I could give myself another chance.
      It was very hard for me to learn to trust and I am still in the process. But I am glad I got out of there. HIV helps appreciate life more. I thank GOD for giving me another day of health. HIV is not a death sentence.

      • September 28, 2010 11:32 pm

        Still, it is hard to be stronger than all the people who literally run away from you…Good luck to you, and god bless. The only thing that helps me at all is, instead of focusing on all the stuff that makes me sad and angry, I try to say thank you for all of the great things, which makes me realize how many of those great things there are. And, even if you feel like you are alone, in a way you never are.

  2. Lerato permalink
    September 30, 2010 4:28 am

    I’m HIV neg but my boyfriend is HIV pos. We have been dating since 2002 and had our child in 2005. He then cheated on me, fathered another child with this other woman and contracted the virus. I found out in Dec 2009 after breaking up with him. It was really hard dealing with this because my dad and uncle both died of aids related causes, my mom is pos (diagnosed April 2009)and my best friend and her boyfriend are both pos. It’s hard emotionally but I decided to support and forgive my boyfriend. I took him back in May this year. I didn’t take him back because I’m stranded and desperate. I am a pretty girl. I took him back because I still love the guy,but besides that…I researched a lot about the disease. I also had to learn how to forgive.
    Importantly I had to learn to forgive myself…look at my past honestly and deal with my own issues. I chose to focus on me and empathise with him. No one intends on being infected. This disease is a pandemic. Whether we want to admit it or not, almost every household has someone infected or affected (especially in the townships of SA). I’ve learnt that this virus is like a gift and a curse. The gift is that when you come to terms with your status, its an opportunity to spring clean the past and make way for a more honest and blissful present and future. You hold your destiny in your own hands. It can change the way you value health and life in general. It was painful seeing my uncle deteriorate because he denied the virus and in turn it denied him his life. My mom, boyfriend and best friend all inspire me because they have shown strength, courage and perseverance in accepting their status and claiming back their health. I no longer fear getting infected. I don’t even entertain the thoughts. I’m grateful instead.

  3. veronica permalink
    March 1, 2011 5:15 am

    its now a year since i found out about my status. have not gained the courage to tell anyone nor go for blood work.i recently got a flu and it took two more weeks to go away while in the past it took me not more than a week, am afraid my immune system is going down and i dont even know where to start. i keep getting sleepless nights where i wake in the middle of the night and all i can think of is the things all never get to do, never get to see, how i might never have kids or a husband or even just some1 to love me the way i am….this is not the life i had in mind……….am losing all hope and sometimes i wish i could just take my last breath out of this world for there seems there is nothing left here for me.

    • Keith permalink
      February 10, 2012 7:23 pm

      Veronica , I was diagnosed a week before christmas, after a silly episode with the wrong person . I obviously didnt trust them to have been honest with me about their health because I got tested within 2 weeks of the silly episode .
      like you sleepless nights are the norm,all the if only’s , why didnt I’s wont change what has happened I am currently having blood works to find out baseline cd4 and cd8 count and to see how my body is coping. i think its one of the few things keeping me sane> ive also told no-one as I am scared of a reaction I dont want. The counsellors and medics at my clinic have been brilliant . supportive and informative , I am hopeful that over time some form of normality will return – just don’t want to spend the rest of my life alone but I may not have that choice.
      my advice is get the bloods done, retro virals make HIV a chronic manageable illness just like diabtetes. think positive thoughts keep your chin up and good luck . Redmanc

  4. veronica permalink
    March 1, 2011 5:22 am

    its now a year since i found out about my status. have not gained the courage to tell anyone nor go for blood work.i recently got a flu and it took two more weeks to go away while in the past it took me not more than a week, am afraid my immune system is going down and i dont even know where to start. i keep getting sleepless nights where i wake in the middle of the night and all i can think of is the things all never get to do, never get to see, how i might never have kids or a husband or even just some1 to love me the way i am….this is not the life i had in mind……….

    • jae permalink
      March 1, 2011 4:55 pm

      I really dont think this is the life any of us had in mind. Really what is the worst that can happen? you tell a total stranger that you feel is attractive that you are HIV+ and they say… not worth the risk.
      You really need to have your blood work done. However the flu this season was particularly hard on my family as well. Not just me… but everyone. Maybe this should be a wake up call to take care of yourself.
      You need to start living your life!

  5. April 17, 2011 2:34 pm

    I just found out a week ago that i have hiv i didnt know how to tell my boyfriend i did and he is mad at me also he said he took the test but never showed me any papers so i should ask to see them?

    • jae permalink
      April 18, 2011 11:57 am

      @ Linda it really doesn’t matter at this point. You need to take care if yourself. For some reason you feel he isn’t telling you the truth, your instincts are probably correct. Have another test done. See a doctor. Come up with a plan. Live your life to the fullest, find someone that loves and respects you. Take care of yourself!
      Jae

  6. barely_coping permalink
    February 14, 2012 2:19 pm

    Hi Jae! Will def check the website. It is really hard finding a partner once diagnosed positively. Negative ones do not want to take the risk and one can’t blame them. Let me try my luck, hopefully something positive will come out of it,

    HUGS………

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