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I want them to see me

February 4, 2010

Every day I worry about people finding out that I am HIV+. People can say, “If they are truly your friends it won’t matter”.  It matters to me. I don’t want people treating me differently. I don’t want to be left out of sports.  I don’t want to be the one living my life on the sidelines. Last time I checked, I am still alive. I am not symptomatic. I really do not need anyone to do anything differently than they already do. When I fall, I want them to point and laugh, then obviously help me up. Every time I am around someone, I don’t want them to see that poor woman with HIV. I want them to see ME.  Fabulous, Fabulous, ME!

Jae

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8 Comments leave one →
  1. tatty2gud permalink
    February 5, 2010 8:47 am

    AMANDLA! meaning power to u!!!

  2. marcia permalink
    February 5, 2010 9:54 am

    Hi

    It is not a problem if you dont want everyone knowing about your status, it’s totally up to you, take your time, the time will come when you are ready and it wont matter who says wot, as long as you have accepted yourself, besides y shud u disclose to everyone especially to the people ur not sure if they guinely care about you.

    • barely_coping permalink
      December 18, 2011 11:29 am

      Well said Marcia.

  3. February 5, 2010 10:03 pm

    All I can really say is that you are FABULOUS and NEVER let anyone tell you, differently.

  4. Regina Keeton permalink
    February 10, 2010 12:11 am

    I am sure there is a deep fear to disclose your status because of the way one will think about you and/or treat you. But, if they were your TRUE friends they will probably cry with you at first but then be supportive in everything you do. When you do reveal to your selected group of people, maybe you should try giving them a long speech about treating you the same.

  5. Mano permalink
    February 13, 2010 11:01 am

    As long as YOU can see YOU and accepted yourself the rest will fall into place.
    As one of MJ songs says, “Im starting with the man in the mirror….”

  6. katie06 permalink
    February 15, 2010 12:14 pm

    What you are describing is exactly why I don’t tell people. I want them to see me. I don’t want them to fear me or see me as ‘sick’. I figure a time will come when I do tell, but now is not the time for me.

  7. barely_coping permalink
    December 18, 2011 11:21 am

    @ Jae, what is most important is self acceptance and self love. If you have disclosed to your family and those closest to you, and they have accepted your status, and give you support abundantly, then no need to worry about others. I believe that those who “will” have a problem should deal with it. It is their problem and not yours. The best they can do for themselves is to get educated and learn as much as they can about HIV. It knows no colour, religion or creed. You are fabulous and keep on walking tall.

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